Picture it: Port Charlotte, Florida. 🌴
A 3BR/2BA house with a saltwater pool 🏊♀️, hot tub ♨️, and enough charm to make you forget why you needed a vacation in the first place. Sleeps 6, which is either perfect for a family getaway or a disaster waiting to happen — depends on your family. 🤷♀️
The Good Stuff
We’ve got a saltwater pool that’ll make you feel like you’re floating on the Mediterranean 🇮🇹 (without the airfare), and a hot tub that loosens up those joints faster than your doctor’s prescriptions. 💊
Out back in the yard? Cornhole, battle putt, and ladder ball. 🎯 Don’t know how to play? Make up the rules. That’s what we always did in Sicily. 😉
On the Stay Golden lanai — or as I call it, “the fancy patio” — there’s Tommy Bahama seating, a fire pit 🔥, and enough ambiance to remind you you’re not getting any younger, so enjoy yourself already. ⏳
Indoor Activities (When Florida Acts Up)
We’ve got board games 🎲 for rainy days, slow mornings, or passive-aggressive competition. Winner gets bragging rights. Loser serves the cheesecake. 🍰
Fuel & Treats
There’s a coffee bar ☕ for early risers, night owls, and people pretending they’re morning people. Don’t worry — it’s vacation, no one’s judging.
Beach Day & Beyond
Heading to the coast? We’ve got you covered with:
🏖️ Beach chairs & umbrellas
🌴 Pool floats for lazy drifting
🦈 Shark tooth hunting gear (because finding ancient shark teeth is cheaper than therapy and twice as satisfying)
The Cheesecake Situation
Listen, around here we consider late-night cheesecake a sacred tradition. 🌙🍰 It solves arguments, celebrates victories, and cures heartbreak — or at least distracts you from it. You find yourself at 2 a.m. talking about life with a fork in your hand? Congratulations. You’re doing vacation right. 💁♀️
Location, Location, Location
Close to beaches 🏖️, golf ⛳, fishing 🎣, and shopping 🛍️ — basically everything you need to avoid talking to the people you traveled with. And if you do like the people you came with? Even better. Make memories, take pictures, whatever. 📸
Final Thoughts
Look, you’ve got options. But take it from me — this place has everything you need for a fun, relaxing, and mildly chaotic vacation. And chaos builds character. 💥
Stay golden — and save me a slice. ✨🍰