Ah, where do I begin? If youâve ever wondered what itâs like to stay in a place that kind of resembles the listing photosâif you squint, tilt your head, and imagine a different house entirelyâthen boy, are you in for a treat!Letâs talk ambiance. The creaking floors really add characterâespecially when youâre trying to tiptoe to the bathroom at 2 a.m. and end up sounding like youâre being hunted by ghosts. Very immersive. And donât worry about sneaking in late; the entire house will know.The chairs? Well, they do their best. One tried to launch me into a new dimension. Itâs impressive, really, how they hold together just enough to lull you into a false sense of security before surrendering to gravity.And yes, the tub still drains slowly, just as past reviewers lovingly warned. Youâll have time for a full existential crisis while waiting for your bathwater to disappear. Pair that with a shower faucet thatâs off-centerâas if it were installed by someone with a deep resentment toward symmetryâand youâve got yourself a spa experience like no other.But hey, it is in a nice area. You can almost forget the minor inconveniences while looking out at the beautiful neighborhood and thinking, âI wonder what itâs like to stay in one of those houses.âTo be fair, the place has potential. Unfortunately, itâs currently stuck somewhere between âcharming fixer-upperâ and âmuseum of missed opportunities.â A few upgradesâand by a few I mean manyâcould really bring it into this decade.